Best Life Tips

10 Best-Ever Anxiety- Management Techniques

In her essay, 10 Best-Ever Anxiety-Management Techniques, Margaret Wehrenberg says she has her patients practice diaphragmatic breathing one minute 10-15 times a day “every time they find themselves waiting for something—the water to boil, the phone to ring, their doctor’s appointment, the line to move at the bank”.  Why not do this with the CALMER?  The extra energy you will have during the day will more than pay for the time you spend doing this.

Read the whole article here. Link: Margaret Wehrenberg- There are effective� alternatives to medication.

Common Misconceptions about Action Blocks

1. Fear is a bad thing. We must push through or ignore our fears. We shouldn’t listen to the part that is afraid.

Fear needs to be heard and understood before it will move forward.
Often that is all that is needed to release the block once and for all.

2. Change can happen only through pushing and force. We’ll never change if we let up on ourselves.

Change never happens through force. Opposition and force just create more resistance. “What we resist persists”. When we support the resistance, it relaxes the hold it has on us so we can make the changes we want.

3. Being stubborn is bad. We must overcome it and force ourselves to do what is right.

Stubbornness is an admirable quality of persevering in the face of opposition. It expresses an inner strength that can be utilized when needed.

4. Self criticism, guilt and shame are necessary to goad the lazier parts of us to do what is right.

Often we judge and try to override our “lazy part” in an attempt to get rid of it. This is where the saying “ what we resist persists” applies.  In this case we are resisting the resistance and only enhancing it further.  The more we criticize, guilt and shame ourselves, the more we keep the block in place.  It ensures that the criticized part will not be heard, and everything will stay the same.

5. We intentionally sabotage ourselves as if there were parts of us that want us to fail and be unhappy.

There is no part of ourselves that want us to fail or hurt us. All parts are ultimately on our side and want what is good for us. Bringing attention to these parts with a compassionate and curious attitude instead can often loosen up its grip and begin the process of release.

6. We, or parts of us, really are “lazy” or “lack discipline”, and that is the problem. Will power and discipline are all that is needed.

Will power and discipline keep us stuck when they come from identification with a part of ourselves rather than our whole self.

In an action block, there is a part of you that isn't being heard. Ironically, that's the same part of you that seems to be in charge: the one that isn't taking action. It has you in its iron grip, and yet it's lonely, isolated, unacknowledged. No one has really asked it yet, "How come you're so set against taking action?"

Adapted from Ann Weiser Cornell
“The Power of Focusing”

All About Emotional Intelligence from Six Seconds - Forgive for Good - Interview with Author Fred Luskin

I see forgiveness primarily as preventative and secondarily as something to work out. It is very secondary that you forgive one specific event. What you want to develop is the capacity to forgive when things don’t work the way you want them to. And to really keep your heart open as much as possible, even when things are not going the way you want. If your airplane is late, can you forgive that and still enjoy the time you are waiting in the airport? Or forgive that there is traffic on the freeway, or that your friend is late? That is the quality I try to develop the ability to forgive the things that can turn us off to life because they aren’t what we want.

Kate: What are three steps people can take to become more forgiving people?

Dr. Luskin:

1. Begin by forgiving the small things. Work on forgiving traffic, long lines, late planes, the things that don’t really matter.

2. Forgive those you love. We erect roadblocks, called grievance stories, which stop us from loving. The most important people to forgive are those closest to us.

3. Always practice first. You may not be ready to forgive someone today, but if you were, what would it sound like? Practice saying it to yourself, say, when you are alone in the car. That why when you are ready to forgive, it is available to you.

For the entire interview go to
Link: All About Emotional Intelligence from Six Seconds - Forgive for Good - Interview with Author Fred Luskin.