Best Life Tips

Interactive Johari Window - Mapping Personality Visibility

Johari Window Exercise

Here is a fun exercise to do with your family and friends.

The interactive window online helps friends pick out the qualities they think you embody, and allows you to compare those to your own choices.

Enjoy!

Link: Interactive Johari Window - Mapping Personality Visibility.

FOCUS ON YOUR JOY

All too often we spend a lot of our resources on improving our weaknesses through therapy, self help books, workshops, and seminars and completely overlook our brilliance, gifts and strengths.  Those qualities that make us most who we are are left in the closet while we go out striving to improve our so-called weakness so that we feel more presentable.  We fail to realize that we are all gifted with natural strengths, and talents.  What if we were to put the same energy that we have used to strive, improve, or push ourselves to enjoying our natural talents and gifts?

    Most of the research conducted by psychologists over the years has focused on what makes people sad or anxious. That is why psychological journals over the last 30 years have published 45,000 articles on depression but only 400 on joy.  Of course, joy is not covered by insurance.

    We're working too hard to be healthy, says Paul Pearsall, author of The Pleasure Principle and The Heart’s Code. He says we’re suffering from too much undeserved guilt and taking the fun out of life.   He states that when we aren’t getting delight in our life, our body starves for spiritual nutrients.  He asks his patients to ask themselves this question each morning and evening, “Has today been a delight for me and everyone around me?”

     Since identifying and expressing our values leads to a more joy-filled life, it would benefit you to list your core values, those qualities that you are most attracted to;  for example: spirituality, creativity, adventure, beauty, or connection. (For a free Value Identification Program e-mail me) Some people whom I’ve assisted through this process have noticed that they just needed to change some small aspect of their work or home life to put it in line with their values.  The result is more joy.

    Some other tips to help keep the focus on joy are: Hang out with others who seem joyful.  Make a list of 100 big and small things that bring you joy. It could be appreciating beauty or connecting with nature. Identify those activities are that you enjoy and do one at least once everyday.

    I’ll close with a lyric from Kathy Matea, “Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.”

Positive Attitude

We can all use a little sunshine. Dan's caught a few rays and made them into a manifesto you can take with you wherever you go. He hopes it makes you smile.

Download 14.05.PositiveAttitude.pdf

Are you a hedgehog or a fox?

HOW TO DISCOVER WHAT YOU’RE BEST AT.

In a famous essay based on an ancient Greek fable, "The Hedgehog and the Fox", Isaiah Berlin looked at the differences in the two animals' ways of functioning. The fox is cunning, crafty, sleek and sly. He devises complex strategies to attack his prey. The dowdy little hedgehog, however, who waddles along like an easy target, outfoxes the fox every time by rolling into a perfect ball with spikes protruding in all directions. Just by being the hedgehog, he is doing what he does best and can unfailingly thwart his attacker. Berlin divided the world into hedgehogs and foxes, claiming that "the fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing."

Are you a hedgehog or a fox?

Since reading about this idea in "Good to Great" by Jim Collins about how the Hedgehog Concept applies to great businesses, it struck me how well it also applies to individuals interested in living their best life. "The hedgehog concept is not a goal to be your best, a strategy to be your best, an intention to be your best, a plan to be your best. It's an understanding of what you can be the best at. The distinction is absolutely critical," says Collins.

Imagine if you were able to clarify for yourself; (1) what you are most passionate about, (2) what you are genetically encoded for -- your natural strengths and innate abilities and (3) what you can do with your talents and passion to make a significant contribution to others and make your living doing it. Where these three dimensions intersect is your Hedgehog Concept, what you can naturally be best at.

You need all three to have a Hedgehog Concept. If you make a lot of money doing things that you can never be your best at or that you don't care deeply about, you'll have material things, but not fulfillment. If you are doing something at your best but aren't passionate about it, you'll never be able to sustain interest and enthusiasm. Finally, if you're passionate about something, but can't be your best at it or if it doesn't make economic sense or contribute to others, then it can be a fun-filled hobby, but you won't be making a living at it.

Those who are living their best life, to one degree or another are hedgehogs. They use their hedgehog nature to drive toward being at their best and contributing to others. By comparison, the foxes never clarify the three dimensions and instead remain scattered, diffused, and inconsistent.

Coaching Tips to begin finding your Hedgehog Concept:

Take out 3 sheets of paper.

On one write, "What am I passionate about?" Write out everything you can think of that you feel passionate about.

On the second sheet write "My natural abilities and strengths". Put down everything that might be considered a strength of yours.

Third, note any ideas on how you could get paid for doing what you're best at and passionate about.

Then, ask several people whose opinion you value to review these lists and give you feedback on where they see these three dimensions intersecting. After enjoying the feedback you've received, read through the responses and look for patterns.

Remember, the process of clarifying your Hedgehog concept may take some time, but don't get discouraged. It's not always easy to be objective about something so close to you. Stick with it, get support, find a coach. It could make the difference between Living Your Best Life or remaining scattered and inconsistent in your pursuit of happiness and success.

Send me your comments.

Technorati Tags: self, confidence

USATODAY.com - Business bows to an unlikely oracle: British boy wonder

Link: USATODAY.com - Business bows to an unlikely oracle: British boy wonder.

Could You Use More Confidence?

Who couldn’t? Self-confidence is the belief in your ability to succeed. I like Dan Sullivan’s definition, “Confidence is the ability to transform fear into focused and relaxed thinking, communication, and action – with the result that dangers become opportunities, obstacles become innovations, weaknesses become advantages, and setbacks become breakthroughs.”

People with an ability to create their own confidence can learn new skills, adjust to change, and accomplish more.

The good news is that confidence can be developed. We can start by focusing on our strengths. All of us have strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately we often focus most of our attention on our weaknesses, wasting time, energy and money attempting to improve or compensate for them. A much more effective approach is to build confidence by focusing on your strengths. Begin by identifying your unique strengths and then go about strengthening them even more vs. trying to improve your weaknesses.

Take on a daily practice of noticing what you did well, identifying the strength you used, and then looking for a way to improve it further. Do this every PM for a month and your confidence will soar.

There are many other methods you can use to build your confidence. I recommend that you develop a confidence-building plan.

Here are just a few tips you could include:

1. Each evening write down the 3 to 5 things you did well during that day. (as described above)
2. Create an inventory of 10 things you can do in a day to build your confidence. Then take action to make these daily habits.
3. Take a risk to learn something new. Learning new things can increase your overall confidence level.
4. Don’t wait until you’re confident to take action. Confidence comes from taking risks and growing.
5. Develop appreciation and gratitude for who you are and what you already have.
6. Do affirmations every day. In the morning when you wake up and at night before you go to sleep.

If you’re not sure of your strengths, I’ve listed several resources to help you.

www.strengthfinder.com You can learn more about the strengths theory at www.strengthsfinder.com. If you've purchased a copy of “Now, Discover Your Strengths”, you can use the unique number printed in each book to take a free online Strengths Finder survey at the site and discover your own top five themes.

www.authentichappiness.com  The VIA Signature Strength Survey on this site allows you to take a short assessment that will list your top five strengths.

www.kolbe.com  You can take an online assessment that identifies your unique natural instinct profile.

I invite you to let me know what you think or ask questions. Click on comments.

Technorati Tags: "self, confidence"

The Power of Instinct

Could the difference between seemingly effortless success and those who struggle be the application of their natural instincts?

According to Kathy Koble, author and theorist, what people can do has little to do with what they have the ability to do. The reason? People have been taught to ignore their instincts, or even fear their instincts.

Ignoring your instincts and falling to appreciate the instincts of others can be disastrous.

Kolbe claims, “When people act according to instinct, their energy is almost inexhaustible – like water running downhill. But, when people are forced to act against their instinct, their energy is rapidly depleted – like water being pumped uphill.”

The Kolbe Instinct Indexes are brief questionnaires that are fun and easy to complete online in less than 20 minutes. Backed by more than 20 years of research and practical applications, they give you an amazingly accurate map of your natural instincts - what we call your modus operandi, or MO.

Being clear about your unique MO can help you restore the balance among learned skills, and instincts. To learn more about the Kolbe System click on this link

Focus on Your Strengths

"Do not try to teach a pig to sing---it wastes your time and annoys the pig"

We often spend our time and energy on improving our weaknesses and completely overlook our unique abilities, gifts and strengths. Imagine if you put the same energy that you've used to strive, improve, or push yourselves to overcome your weakness into developing your natural strengths and gifts.

If you concentrate on your weaknesses, you're going to struggle. If you concentrate on your strengths,  you're drawing on a renewable resource, which will always improve.

Identifying your unique strengths and abilities can be illusive. Since this talent comes so easily to you, you find it hard to see it as unique.

Here are some questions to help shed light on your strengths:

1. What do you do that is natural, easy and effortless?
2. What activities put you into the flow, that place where you get energized and lose track of time and space.
3. What do you really enjoy doing and feel passionately about?
4. What do other people tell you that youre great at?

Additional Resources:
Go to www.AuthenticHappiness.com link and take the free VIA Signature Strengths Survey.
And/or purchase the book "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Buckingham and Clifton. You are given a code that entitles you to go on line for the Strenths Finder Profile link.

Once you've identified your unique strengths, begin to eliminate those activities at which you are incompetent or only competent, your productivity will increase immediately. It is your passion for your unique strengths that will allow you to continually improve your capabilities, leading to more opportunities and success.

Coaching Point:
Once you have identified your unique strengths and abilities write down at least one thing you could do to develop each one further. And then look for ways to apply each strength to your goals.